Cold or Allergies?

I feel like I have been successfully sick for the last three weeks straight... or maybe it's allergies. Either way it sucks. I've heard allergies are really bad this year but I also have an awful cough along with my stuffed nose. With work and school I don't have any time to just get better, if it's a cold anyways.
I heard using local honey is a good cure for seasonal allergies, which makes a lot of sense but I think I'll try claritan first.

I'm a little salty.

Just some advice to all the guys out there in the world. Don't date a girl, break up with her when her mother's dying because she doesn't spend enough time with you. Then, don't message her on some random day when she's still healing with a profile pic of you and soom other girl.
Hope she's as heartless as you. You'll make a perfect couple then.
I'm sorry I was busy being strong and independent and trying to deal with something and you felt neglected. Well guess what?! The world doesn't revolve around you.

The Start of an Apology

It sucks that I have spent so long feeling bottled up. I've ignored the fact that shes gone for so long that it all comes rushing in these needles of waves hitting my heart.
I am so sorry I didn't say anything.
I need to open up.
Talking about my feelings is the hardest thing to accomplish. I don't think it's because I'm closed off, I feel like I'm a very open person but something about telling people I'm not the person they think I am is so hard.
I'm not that person you want me to be and it's so hard pretending that I am.

Starting

My doctor told me I should start writing how I feel down because it might help my depression and what not. So, this blog isn't really for anyone else except myself but if someone happens upon this and finds some inspiration or joy then... good for you!

To start:

I lost my mother a couple months ago and I have been avoiding my grief (ain't nobody got time for that). Between two jobs and all the school work I have I don't have time. I feel it though. Slowly weighing me down, day by day.
It sucks.
It really sucks.
I keep hoping my heart will just stop hurting so I can focus on other things but it isn't happening.
It feels like black tar slowly growing over areas of my life and it keeps hardening before I am able to escape.
I hate this feeling and I just want it to disappear. Maybe that means I want to disappear. If I were to be gone at least I would leave the tar behind.

Life is too hard sometimes, you know?
People tell you, "It'll get better when you get older," blah blah blah... Now that I am living my own life I am still just as attached to my cat as I was before. Speaking of which!

Stormageddon

Stormy

The cutest baby and the light of my life.